I have issues. I have so many issues I don’t even know what they all are. I don’t normally like to write about my personal life but sometime to further understanding and bring important things to light it is necessary.
I bring this all up because I have confession to make. I did not make it to the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival. I say, “I did not make it” because I tried so hard, and though my desired goal was not obtained I did learn something interesting about myself, therefore I did not fail. I learned the name of one of my issues, it is called Anxiety and it is closely related to some of my other issues, Control and Perfectionism. They are kind of like triplets.
I was all packed up and made it into the city and then I freaked out over some things that I now know would have been handled easily, but headed back home to start over again and realized there was so much more going on than I thought.
I had to ask myself “How can a woman who drove 2,568 miles be afraid of a day trip?” How, because I was not in full control, I had some questions I could not answer, but not dare ask the questions because I had to be perfectly capable all by myself. I have issues and they revolve around mental illness, anxiety, control issues, self-esteem, perfectionism, depression, procrastinating and it appears they are all wrapped into a nifty little ball sitting between my heart and my gut.
As one of my favorite Psychology teachers use to say, “If you have a tooth ache you go to a dentist, if you have a Psych-ache you need to see a Psychologist.”
Hang in there everybody and